We Should Start Taking It Personally

"Don't take it personally." Whether you've heard this about work, friendships, or even when dealing with strangers, the age-old testament phrase tells us to distance our feelings from our work and interactions. I'm here to tell you that this is a terrible way of doing it.

I understand that this phrase is meant to say "brush off those who try to bring you down", but in this context, maybe we should rework that saying. Maybe instead of worrying about brushing off criticism we should worry about what we can take personally in a positive light. Maybe we should think about taking our work personally.

What does it mean to take something personally? Does it mean we allow ourselves to feel in every context of our lives? Does it indicate that we should only have a personal connection to the positive and progressive aspects of our work? My question is, does it really keep us from getting hurt? Or is it just a disservice to the experiences that we have, good and bad?

When we talk about "not taking it personally", in this context, we mean to cut ourselves off from feeling. Encouraging ourselves to turn away from the situation if it does not benefit us does not save us from experiencing the downfall, it just gives us an excuse to ignore it. It equates to running away from our problems. And while this is a common practice, maybe we should stop ignoring problems for the sake of being more thoughtful with our work and the challenges we face.

While we can talk about criticism of our work being constructive rather than just insulting, taking the feeling out of it doesn't create a more clear mind, it desensitizes us. The feeling we put into our interactions and our work is what makes it so meaningful. We can't do what we love and love what we do without letting ourselves connect. Could I be writing this blog and taking criticism thoughtfully if I didn't care? Of course not. My work is personal to me because it's what I spend my time doing. I spend time improving it, I reflect personally through it, and I am tied to it as one of my favorite things to do with my time.

I'm not suggesting that we should be hypersensitive to situations. But should we really drive a wedge between being sensitive towards criticism and being sensitive towards what we're passionate about? Sensitivity is synonymous with responsiveness, reactivity. We don't always need to associate the term with being fragile or delicate.

Take your work personally. The passion that drives us is what makes work worth working for. Don't just pour your time into it, pour your heart into it. Make it worth your while.

xo Kate